My 2nd eldest is getting married on September 5, 2009. This will be the first wedding in our family. The engagement occurred just prior to Christmas. It didn't come as a big surprise. You see, daughter number 2 can't keep a secret and everyone knew the momentous occasion was just around the corner. However, the groom had other ideas and what we thought would happen any day turned into several months.
The joy in Ali's voice when she finally got that ring on her finger was precious. Voice trembling, she called late on a Saturday night and told us they were on their way over. It was near midnight. Her dad and I made ourselves presentable, looked for something suitable to toast the occasion and patiently waited for them to arrive- beaming all the while. Joy ensued and all in attendance congratulated the happy couple.
Now here is the "bad mommy" part. I never really looked forward to this. Okay, it gets worse, I kind of dreaded it. Yes, I hoped my children would find a life mate and yes, I hoped they would marry in a somewhat traditional manner, but I never daydreamed about planning their weddings. I know moms who do. I know moms who only have boys and regret that they won't ever be planning a wedding. Not me. I anticipated a lot of contention, stress, worry about money, extra work, etc.
But guess what? I've found there is some of that but not even close to the degree I worried about. What I've found instead is that planning your daughter's wedding is just what these other moms dreamed about- a special life experience that occurs once ('cause it better not happen again!). A time in your life that is set apart from all others. I shouldn't have worried but I admit to sometimes being a "glass half empty" kind of gal.
So there you are. Your daughter is engaged. The toasts have been made, the good news has been passed along to friends and family, congrats shared with the future in-laws and then reality sets in. Okay... we've got to plan this thing. First, a date must be set. Sounds simple? Nope! You have to take into account the bride's family, the groom's family, extended family, weather, site availability and a reasonable amount of time to plan without undue stress. The groom wanted to get married sooner rather then later. The bride wanted cooler weather and the church wasn't available until the latter. So, the bride won and September 5th it is.
After some initial hustle, there was a lovely lull in the spring. All the most important components were in place and there was no need to start in on the million minute details. The details I had been dreading for months. But before we knew it, we were four months out and once again we're thick in the middle of it, with numerous phone calls back and forth, errands to run, decisions to be made, problems to be solved. In addition we are on a tight budget and working hard to stick to it. This means we have to be creative. We're making the invitations, programs and table decorations ourselves. Fortunately Ali's future sister-in-law designed the invites and is actively overseeing their completion. This is good, for we are not a crafty family.
Actually, I can be creative when I get inspired. Problem is many of my inspirations come in the night- late in the night. I find myself stumbling around in the dark, looking for a sticky note and pen. When I wake in the morning my scribbles are not exactly legible but usually adequate enough to spark my memory. Happily some of those inspirations have panned out and I believe will make the day even more special.
After the flurry of the last few weeks, important decisions have been made, the budget is still in tact and I think, once again, things will slow for a bit. My plan for the next months is to be so on top of every detail that all goes off as expected but I am savvy enough to know all about "best laid plans"...blah,blah,blah.
Amazingly, in the midst of all the work , and the occasional headache and grumpiness, I find I am getting a tickle in my stomach; a tickle of anticipation. My lovely daughter is getting married, family is coming from afar to celebrate and it is indeed a wonderful thing. Let the fun begin!
VSL
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